Sunday, September 20, 2009

madi's THREE!

RIP, Stevie. You will be missed.

i don't even know where to start. this weekend has been the true definition of bittersweet. yesterday and today, we are celebrating madi's 3rd birthday, but we are also grieving the loss of my cousin, stevie. early saturday morning, i received a phone call from my sister. it was before 7 am, so i knew it was not good news. i answered the phone to learn my cousin had died that night. there is speculation about what really happened, and we cannot know soon enough. but i do know that he was like a brother to me. though he was younger, he was always a protector. i remember when we were younger, his sister, mandi, my sister, shwee, he and i would have sleepovers every weekend. we would play hide and seek during summer nights with the kids in my neighborhood, and we would act out stories from saturday night snick's "are you afraid of the dark." one particular summer night, they had slept at my house and we had stayed out late playing hide and seek with some other kids nearby. i was hiding with another boy from the neighborhood who was older and stevie wanted to hide with us. the older boy didn't want stevie to come, but he demanded, because he wasn't going to let me hide alone.. in the dark.. with an older boy. granted the other boy was mad, but i was safe, and stevie was happy. it's my greatest memory of stevie, and i don't ever want to forget it. i knew how much he cared about me, and it showed me his true personality.

i just can't believe he is gone. and i hate this feeling. i feel like i experience it way more than anyone should. i want my cousin back so badly, but i know now that not only is he with the two angels waiting for him, but he's not struggling anymore. he is safe, and happy, and will be watching his boys every day for the rest of their lives.

i felt terrible to keep madi's party scheduled, but madi was so excited, and i just couldn't let her down. i hope my family understands why i didn't cancel her party. and i hope they know i understand that they didn't make it. stevie's death is unexpected and the family needs to be together.

otherwise, the party was a success. madi was happy. a friend did her cake and i couldn't have been more pleased with it. it was fantastic!

madi received a bunch of toys and was quite the show off with her presents. last night, after the party was over, she finally had her trampoline put together. she jumped for an hour and when we took it inside, she wanted to play with it in her room. i went to check on her a few minutes later, and this is what i found..

a big thanks to the family members who were able to make it to madi's birthday party. she had a great time, and i hope you all did too.
this morning, we had a few presents left for madi to open, and she was pretty excited! here's a picture of justin watching the big sis on her special day! he looks so mature in this picture with his popped collar... he could be a baby model!
she's not thrilled this morning to be 3, cos now we're done with the binkies... again!

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